Weight Fluctuations

Before I went through my break-up in 2013, I was 164 lbs. I started working out everyday (with the Insanity program) when I realized I was unhappy in that relationship. I couldn’t control him and how I was being treated; so I controlled myself.

After the break-up, I continued with Insanity but also did hip-hop and other dance classes. Also, I re-joined kick-boxing classes and went here and there. I got my weight down to 110 lbs. It was cool to be a size small again but coworkers thought I looked unhealthy (rolls eyes).

Now I’m 184 lbs. and my family thinks I’m unhealthy, too, which proves that no matter what, insecure people, who don't look at themselves, will always have an opinion.

The reason I gained so much weight is because I was SA'ed in 2017. I was thin back then and had I been thicker w/ better self-esteem, I would’ve been able to fight him off and say “No!” I know, I’m blaming myself for not reacting but I froze.

I’ve been trying to lose my fat and gain muscle since 2021. My body has changed for the better and I’m grateful. I’m not at my ideal weight but I’m happy. The goal is not to become super thin like before, it’s to build muscle so my body doesn’t hurt when I’m doing household chores.

The moral of the story is that if someone (friend, foe, family member) can’t accept my curves, they can go. I don’t need people pointing fingers at me and calling me fat because I have breasts and hips. I’m not a beached whale. I’m a human being with feelings.