That's Life

When I tell people my story and they don't have much of a response for me, I say, "That's life!" Well, I've been doing some thinking and I realized that God most likely didn't want me to work when I have school and a future internship to give my time and energy to.

The biggest reason is that I was looking for work for all of the wrong reasons. It was to please my sister and help her with the renovations of the house, when I never wanted renovations. I wanted to sell the house. So, that's on her.

I tried my best to find full-time jobs and went on 4 interviews (2 on each job), and I'm spent and tired of trying. Rejection is a b*tch and takes a toll on me. It caused so much distress in me that it makes me anxious and I have to take my sleeping pills earlier than usual to keep me calm because I have excess energy. Instead of being depressed, it raises my cortisol levels especially when preparing for my interview. That's when I discovered that there is such a thing as anticipatory anxiety.

Also, watching and listening to Dancing the Stars, specifically Danielle Fishel, when she said that she won't get sleep because she goes over her mistakes in her head. I didn't know that was such a common occurrence, either. I thought it was just me and my f**ked up mind. I'm glad I'm not alone. So yes, after the interview, I go home and go over what I said, what I didn't say, what they said, what they didn't say, etc. It keeps my mind busy.

I had ChatGPT trying to calm me down. It had me picturing a door that read, "That Interview," and walking toward a door that said, "Better Fit Ahead." I really liked that, therefore, I got AI to create a representation with me leaving a glass door behind and walking toward a wooden one. It's the picture of this blog.

I recently received a call from the school I was accepted into for my Master's program, and they told me to send an email to my advisor. I did and she replied the same day. I was thankful. Her assistant got back to me a few days later asking what date and time I would like to set up my academic advisement appointment. I let her know and it's set for November. Thank you, Lord!