Sensory Overload

My space has been invaded for the past 2 weeks due to the bathroom renovations and the clearing out of the basement, and I’m exhausted. The workers would be here as early as 7AM and leave as late as 7PM. One night it was until 11PM and I was fed the F up.

My mom even came down to my apartment while I was laying in bed or resting on the recliner. I had to get up and give her 2 Chips Ahoy cookies. If I kept those Chips Ahoy upstairs with her, they would be gone within 2 days and cookies are not good for her when her blood sugar levels are high.

Then while doing the renovations, the front door was open for the workers to go back and forth with ease and while I was on guard, my nosy neighbor came in to view the house. B, you don’t even look at me or acknowledge me when I’m on the street or walking by your house. How are you going to walk into my home like you own the place?! I yelled out, “Hello!” He practically ran out of the house and didn’t want to show himself to me. He was asking for one of the workers and when I told the worker that he was being summoned, he didn’t even know who the neighbor was. Pathetic. I was annoyed but also scared because there was a stranger in my house (like the song), but literally, Tamia. My worst nightmares coming true aren’t cool.

Every time I hear pounding from a hammer by my neighbors next door in the morning or the neighbor’s screaming children outside the window after 12AM, I get so aggravated. I just want peace and quiet and rest. Is that too much to ask for? It is…obviously.

The only good thing that came out of it was me putting on my Bluetooth headphones. I blasted them shits. I felt bad or guilty because I want to have my ears perked up for anything my mom does or needs, you know? But this my way out; my escape for self-care. I was able to cry for half an hour on Sunday. It was much needed. I cried on Friday while waiting for one of the workers to come and finalize the project because I was so close to tellling him not to come because it was already past 6PM. My eyes were fighting sleep so badly. I ChatGPTed how I felt and it said that when you are feeling sleepy and overwhelmed, to close your eyes and picture a place you’d like to be. I immediately thought of California; the beach, the white sand, the Pacific Ocean, the palm trees. I cried especially because when my dad died, he died with a shirt that read California and a habiscus flower. It’s like he knew I wanted to go there without knowing or telling me, and was leaving me that message. I long to live in California when it‘s all said and done. <3