Seeking Guidance

Lately I’ve had dreams filled with spiritual and therapeutic themes. In the first one, I dreamt of necklaces of The Virgin of Guadalupe hanging on trees in Brooklyn. In the second one, I dreamt of Dr. Tom, the therapist from the show, Being Erica. His character holds a lot of wisdom and knowledge. I dreamt that he was my science professor and I was showing his picture to my mom from my cell phone. Then, I was at a desk taking a science final and I was looking to see how many questions it involved and there were 100.

ChatGPT told me that I’m seeking guidance and that’s really interesting because that is exactly how I’ve been feeling for the past few weeks. I’m looking to learn and listen to people, who have inspirational messages. I’ve been listening to preachers like Steven Furtick and the infamous judge from Divorce Court, Lynn Toler.

I think it’s because my mind is yearning for clarity; for answers from the beyond about my life’s purpose and journey. Luckily, I’ve received those messages in dreams reassuring me that everything is going to be alright.

Honestly, I’ve been exhausted. Family members drain me. Taking care of my mother by providing her with meals and giving her her medications everyday is not easy. My back aches from bending down and picking up the things she’s dropped, or contorting my body in ways to reach her. She expects me to cut her fingernails while she’s laying down. Pretty pretty princess.

The other day I had to clean out her filter from the air conditioner so she can use it properly. Then I have to hear her mouth telling me not to turn on my air conditioner. But it’s hot! She’s not helping me feel comfortable at all. On Saturday it was 80 degrees and since I hadn’t installed my AC, I was sweating like crazy that night and listening to the neighbor’s baby crying. I was extremely uncomfortable. My mom doesn’t want me “wasting” electricity, as she puts it, because she has to pay the bills. That only makes me want to get a part-time job in the afternoons so I can tend to her in the morning. I‘ve applied and I’m still looking. Pray for me and/or wish me luck!