New Therapist

I'm shopping around for a new therapist because my last one left me in an extremely vulnerable state after our last session. She kept probing about a tense relationship I had with a family member and unlocked an uncomfortable memory right at the end of our session. She told me, "Well, that's the end of our session. See you next week."

Then by the weekend, she rescheduled our session for another day and time (Wednesday at 4PM). I was obviously mad because I needed to speak to her as soon as possible. The day we were supposed to meet (Tuesday at 3PM), I couldn't sleep that night nor the second night. I was highly upset.

Also, I had wanted to go to the beach the day she scheduled our session. I ended up canceling it and telling her I was going out, but if I didn't, that it would be noisy in my house. She went with it and didn't think anything of it.

I had a therapy consult with a social worker last Friday, who said that two things are needed to be set in stone in the client-therapist relationship. Those two things are safety and consistency. I love how she mentioned those. She seemed experience and very warm, but unfortunately, she did not take my insurance. I wish she had! I don't want to pay out of pocket because I'm not rich.

Then today I had a consult with a mental health counselor and it didn't go as well as expected. She spoke very quickly and I sensed her anxiety or nervousness. It wasn't a good look. My brain is tired. It's Monday. I was trying hard to keep up with what she was telling me, and my body knew she was a no. However, she opted out first by saying that she wouldn't be able to provide emails or text messages between her clients, because that is something she just doesn't do; that her tone can get misconstrued. You're only worried about tone if you're not as sweet as you try to come off. If you don't have tact with words, that's a you problem. Anyway, I told her, "Thank you, have a nice day!" She ended the call with, "Bye." DJ Pauly D. voice: Awkward!

I have another one that I recently scheduled at 1:30PM, and I'm hoping that third time's the charm (or so they say). That reminds me of a song I wrote with those exact lyrics. Pray for me or wish me luck! I'll come back and write about it here! I have a good feeling about her.

Well, she doesn't take my insurance. I tried! I'm still on the lookout for a new therapist. I hope I can get one scheduled for next week. Let's see what happens.

The moral of the story is to always trust your gut instincts about people. If your body is screaming to run, listen because it can save you from heartache. I wanted to give my therapist a second chance after she looked at me on the video call and said, "You look tired" and "Don't make any rash decisions." I forgave her for that but for what? So, she can re-traumatize me? Not worth it.