Never-ending Job

I thought I wouldn’t have to be on top of my mom but my job never ends. It’s actually double-work because I have to make sure her blood sugar levels are not too low because she puts too much insulin in her body. She could die if her blood sugar levels are below 40.

I wanted to play a game yesterday morning on my laptop and relax with the 5 hours of sleep I got the night before, but no. I had to do some research on something while waiting for my mom to be ready to go to the laundromat. I helped her with the laundry and the cart. Then we had to go to the store and get laundry detergent and back to the laundromat. I just wanted to stay home but there was so much to do.

My body was tired when I got home but at that point, my mom was hungry and wanted me to order her food. While the food was being made, I finally sat down and tried to listen to music and sing, but I couldn’t even do that because the food was about to arrive. So, I had to pause and bring my mom the food. I ate a little bit because I wasn’t that hungry. Also, my mom talking a mile a minute and complaining with the music on blast doesn’t make me feel at ease to eat. It’s too hectic for me to put food in my mouth.

The day before I hadn’t even had a full meal because she had me running up and down the stairs and out to the store with her to buy food to cook all the while I tried to clean and clear my floor.

My mom has no time management skills when she’s cooking, cleaning and up and about. So, we didn’t even get a chance to go to her doctor’s appointment. I rescheduled it for a few days from now. I was so tired from the morning and afternoon duties, that I needed a break.

Lastly, I hate that my cousin knows what’s going on in my house without my knowledge and without even acknowledging my feelings. My neighbor has a mouth and yet my sister tells me not to tell anyone about what’s happening in my house. Go tell the neighbor that, not me. My cousin knows the logistics, but not how it’s making me feel. I was triggered by the noise of the constant hammering and other tools. It’s a lot for me.

Everyone is so happy for us but they don’t know what I have to go through. Early mornings and late nights. Waking up in the middle of the night to check the camera on the app I have on my phone to make sure my mom turns the stove off during the night. This is a round the clock thing.

My mom almost attacked me last night for not giving her something she wanted to help me clean my bathroom. She came from an hour and a half talk on the phone with one of her many siblings. Her sister probably had enough of her and had to end the call, that she came down here on a cleaning frenzy; touching my things and moving them.

The silver lining is that my house was like a club yesterday; like Webster Hall. The third floor (my mom) had Z100, the second floor (me) had hip-hop and R&B, and the first (Jose) had Spanish music. It’s like a fucking zoo in this place, but I try to make the most of it. Pray for me!