History Repeats

I tried so hard to journal and I utilized the Notability app for a long time. Unfortunately, at one point when I was trying to re-subscribe, all my journal entries deleted before I got a chance to finish reading them. I was like, "Oh, come on," albeit, what I wrote was not positive. It was probably best not to harp on the past. I liked to keep and read them to see what I was went through.

I downloaded the app called "Journal," and found journal entries that one year and half still ring true. In January of 2025, I wrote: I will not engage with you if I feel any of the following:

• Unloved by my aunts because their ulterior motives are to talk to my mom, not me.

• Annoyed by my aunts because they keep calling me.

• Pressured by my aunts because they are putting unnecessary demands on me like to cut my mom's hair.

• Criticized by my aunts because they just have negative things to say and nothing positive.

I recently blocked said aunt and I keep doing it every few months 'cause I do not want to see her phone calls or receive her text messages. This is my mother's sister, by the way. Ever since my dad passed away, she's been calling every week. I do not know how she does not see that that behavior is annoying. It is to check up on my mom, but if you want to contribute, come here and do something.

My dad's sisters call me every so often but they are not a pain in my @$$. The other aunt I was referring to was my mom's brother's wife. She learned her lesson and never called again, and luckily, they stopped visiting. They are getting up there in age, so, they have to take care of their health more.

It just amazes me how history repeats itself. I figured I would get a therapist to help me deal with my issues of being "controlled." I do not like it; so, then I control the narrative by blocking and distancing myself from them.

The silver lining is that when you feel like you need help, seek it. Help in the sense of a medical professional, like a counselor or therapist. ChatGPT could only do so much!