Love Affair

When I was 18 years old, I applied to work at Victoria's Secret in Herald Square. I was working in the Pavilion movie theater for about a year. However, I wanted to work at Victoria's Secret so badly. The interview process was grueling because there was a group interview and a second individual interview. I was nervous but excited, and I got the job! Everyone working there was so much older than me (25 and up) but I enjoyed my time there.

I remember getting hounded by my mom and a coworker, who both asked me what I wanted to do with my life because folding panties is not a career. Trust me, I didn't think I would be folding panties when I first started but my title was Support/Stock. At first, I was in Beauty with the fragrances, which was type hectic especially when you had to talk aloud to the clients about the deals. I didn't want to talk loudly; my little introvert self wanted to be quiet in some corner.

I thought I would get a crack at the cash register and luckily, I did but temporarily. I felt most useful when I was talking to customers in Spanish. It truly made me feel at home with my mom and dad. I would encounter them in the panty section table and ask them if they wanted to sign up for the store credit card. I tried really hard for them to apply because I wanted to stand out. I wasn't selling bras, nor meeting a quota, so I tried with the store card.

Anyway, let's get to my torrid love affair. His name was Marcus. I don't remember his last name but I know he was Greek. He was 25 while I was 19, and the rumor was that he thought I was cute. A mutual coworker asked if I would go out on a date with him, and I said no, because I didn't know him. Eventually we would work together at the Pink panty table and flirt. We had the best time joking around and laughing. I never felt so alive. My pure little heart cries for that young teenage girl.

Supposedly an older coworker got mad at me because she thought I was sleeping with him after she confided in me that she got drunk one night and slept with him. She thought I was trying to steal him from under her. Wasn't he just a one-night stand, no? She and I used to take the train home together but I never considered her a friend. Hence, why I can't even remember her name. I had already started liking him way before she told me the story, and I was thinking, "F**k, why she did she have to tell me that? I wish I didn't know."

Marcus and I went on two dates (one was dinner at a restaurant and the other was a movie, "We Own the Night") and just kissed a few times. I remember the smell of his cologne, his black-button down shirts, black pants with a black belt, and his fancy black dress shoes. After we had our make-out sessions, I remember him smiling and looking up to the ceiling of the train and saying, "Mmm, you make me feel so young." However, he was feinding for more. I wasn't because I only had been intimate with one guy, so, I wasn't ready for him to be my second. He wasn't my type either. He was really tall and round. I think I started liking chubby guys after him because he broke my heart. We had to part ways because he didn't want anything serious and I wanted a relationship. He had just gotten out of a two or four year relationship with a woman who cheated on him, so, he was heartbroken. I was ready for love.

The moral of the story is don't date your coworker. It was extremely difficult to go to work and see him. I didn't smile as brightly as I used to and every time our eyes met, I quickly looked away. He was hurt and told everyone that I wouldn't go to bed with him. It left such an impression that a manager even told me, "You would make a great wife." Great compliment but so uncalled for, you know? I was hurt because I felt used.

The only way I could get over him was through music. I listened to Alicia Keys' new album with her song, "Lesson Learned," on repeat while on the train headed to Victoria's Secret. I remember crying so much on the way there. It was 2007. Of course, the pain wouldn't measure up to the break-up I would have in 2011, but back then, it was still painful. I don't think I loved Marcus but I really liked him. He made me feel good because he actually listened to what I had to say. To have someone's full attention is beautiful. </3