I’m Sorry

Yesterday while I was on line at Rite Aid’s pharmacy picking up my mom’s medication, there was lady with a walker that had to pass by me to get to the other aisle. When I moved my feet back to let her through, she said, “I’m sorry.” I looked at her, smiled, and said “It’s okay.” Right then and there I wish I had said something differently, though. I wish I had told her, “No need to apologize. You deserve to take up space. You belong here.” Aren’t those the most beautiful words you could hear from a stranger?

I don’t know why so many women are conditioned to apologize for every little thing. Don’t be sorry. You have nothing to be sorry about or for! Once I had seen a woman walking on my block and because some drunk guy bumped into her she said, “Oh, I’m sorry!” No B, he had to be the one to apologize, not you! He violated your space. You didn’t violate his! The damsel in distress role has got to go! Like yesterday. When a drunk man bumped into me in the wintertime and I felt defenseless in my huge coat, I said, “Fuck off!” Big difference from “I’m sorry.”

I could remember the last time I apologized to a man for no reason. I was walking up the train station stairs and because there was a man sleeping on the steps, I had to move. I saw a man’s feet beside me and almost bumped into him because he didn’t wait and was right up my @$$. I immediately said, “I’m sorry!” Then I said, “Wait, I take that back. I’m not sorry.” Hehe.

Over-apologizing is a trauma response and it has to stop. No matter how many times you say it or how many times it hasn’t been said to you, it won’t make you feel any better. If anything, people will walk over you. Standing strong in your power (‘cause we women own it) will be beneficial for you in the long run. Happy Saturday!